Stick your finger in a pig's ass." There's a title for ya.
I happen to be a little bit of a *hick* if you will, and I participated in events dubbed "Stock Shows" in my high school years. As it happens, Jessica also *showed* (as we "in the know" call it) and she and I somehow happened on the topic the other night. We were discussing hogs, purple oil, boars that by chance made it thru to the big show, etc when I asked her if she had ever performed anal protrusion on a pig. She, indeed, had not.
As it happened - I was somewhat of a stock show rookie the year the incident went down. I was on my way to show this particular pig when one of the stock show moms (who is loud and obnoxious and overbearing) stopped me and asked me to *give her my finger.* I was clueless as to what she might need with it and unwittingly held it out. She proceeded to slather on some rather warm feeling gupe and instructed me to stick my finger, with the warm gupe, into the pig's butt hole. I realize that most humans, expecially female humans, would have at that point given the woman a *different* finger and told her to do it herself - but I was naive and went ahead with the procedure. It didn't do any good as my pig was promptly sent "to the trucks."
When I saw how completely foreign this whole thing seemed to Jess I started to wonder. Was I bamboozled? Is there a video out there labled "watch this dumb girl stick her finger in a pig's butt? Have people been poking fun at me for years without my knowledge? After more consideration I decided it must be true; it was a joke at my expense. They had chosen me - the most gullable creature on earth - to be the victim of a cruel prank. A-holes.
I believe Jess could see how distraught (sp?) I was about the whole mess - so she proceeded to call her dad at midnight to enquire as to the vailidity of putting warm gupe you know where. Validation was mine, folks - it is apparently normal practice to do this (I won't say *stick your finger in a pig's ass* again.. it's gross) in order to make a pig move better/faster.
I believe this will be yet another tale that I will regret posting... I also believe a new mantra is in order : *I will NOT post embarrassing/humiliating/gross stories involving myself anymore.*
*I will NOT post embarrassing/humiliating/gross stories involving myself anymore.*
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I think you should continue to post embarrasing/humiliating stories involving yourself! I enjoy the laugh at your expense. :)
I was fine with this post when I did not have a blog of my own. Now that I am a "blogger," I don't know how I feel about my good name being associated with a story of this manner. =)
Post a Comment