Has it really been 4 months?

I did not die, I did not succumb to the shenanigans of my offspring, nor did I get so entangled in Christmas spirit that I had to go through holiday detox. It is quite simple, really; our internet quit. Any of you who remember the refrigerator conundrum will know that “getting things done” is not my forte. It took more than 2 months for me to decide that having cold food and drinks was priority enough to call someone and get the appliance fixed; I can only assume that will mean it will be 4-5 months at least before I do anything about this lack of access to the world wide web. I have been keeping up with my blogger friends, though – through visits to Kenna’s house where I disappear for 3 hours only to be found in a blogger- induced coma.
So, for my audience of 1.5 readers; please do not give up all hope. You never know when procrastinator Kayla will step aside and efficient Kayla will take over. Besides, I’ve got embarrassing stories to tell and epiphanies to declare and my mind to speak. I WILL BE BACK, BLOGGER.

Reasons Why

Since I have admitted my obsession for all things Christmas, I felt it only appropriate that I expand and explain on why I’m so crazy about this season. First and foremost Christmas signifies the birth of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. What better reason for celebration? Yes, I get caught up in gift giving and decorating and crafting and all of the commercialism involved with Christmas; but it’s all because of the celebration of Jesus’ birth. Secondly – my Grandmother instilled in me a deep love for this special holiday from very early in my life. My childhood memories are few and far between – but I will never forget my Grandmother’s house at Christmastime. I remember the big red bow that adorned her light post in the front yard, I remember the elaborate Nativity Scene that rested on the entry-hall table, I remember how every single room was transformed into a Christmas Wonderland and what joy each and every decoration brought to our entire family. I distinctly remember the *plays* that Grandmother made me and all of my cousins perform every year. We would re-enact the Nativity Story, and fight about it the whole time. The oldest girl always got to be Mary, the oldest boy would be Joseph, and Tonya – the youngest- had to be Baby Jesus EVERY year. I think she was 10 before Grandmother finally conceded that she was too big to fit in the manger, and she was replaced by a flashlight. (I realize that's a little odd... okay - a LOT odd) I was the nerd who LOVED doing these productions each year. I was always irritated that I had to be a shepherd or a wise man, but I was still so very serious about it all. WHAT. A. DORK.
I also remember the close family time that always came at Christmas. Christmas Eve at Grandmother’s house was full of Aunts and Uncles, Cousins running amuck (me trying to boss them all around – none of them listening to me). The food was always over the top, out of this world good… My grandfather, Dandy would ALWAYS manage to find an airplane in they sky and round all of the grandkids up and show us how “Santa and Rudolph were just above us in the sky.” It was magical.
Honestly, I could go on and on with amazing Christmas memories– but the point is that this season is magic to me. It’s about love and caring and family. It’s about peace and the spirit of giving – and most of all it’s about celebrating the miracle that was Jesus’ birth. And I’m just CRAZY about it!!!

Items of concern

I am hosting Thanksgiving in exactly 1 day and a half.... There are a few problems with this situation:

1. There are remnants of biter bisquits crusted to every nook and cranny of this house.
2. There is a 3 foot pile of laundry leading from the garage -through the kitchen -down the hall and into my bedroom. (hopefully neither child is buried under there... I haven't heard either of them waling for a while...)
3. We got the brilliant idea to clean out our kitchen cabinets this weekend forgetting that we are hosting this shindig for 20 people - and will no doubt have leftovers. I hope that we can construct 45 bowls out of 10 feet of aluminum foil or there will be enough waste to feed a small country.
4. We only have one working toilet currently... this fact plus the HUGE meal and the obligatory three hour visit after said meal equals disaster of incalculable proportions.

And..
5. I discovered that Ashlyn discarded a sippy cup of chocolate milk sometime ago under her bed - the hard way. I'm not sure how much $ we'll be out for fumigating.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Kenny G Holiday Collection and hot cocoa... MMMmmmMMM. And, to bring a little Holdiday Cheer to the blog: a picture of our tree last year right before Ashlyn woke up to see what Santa brought...

Spray Paint… it’s the new Raid.

I hate spiders, bees, wasps – any and all insects/arachnids that have the ability to cause physical pain/death to humans. I hate them. Like, I want every bee, wasp and spider to die a horrible, grueling, tragic death; preferably at my hand. I’ve even manifested a pretty full-proof murder weapon for said pests; Spray paint. Pink spray paint, to be exact. It all started with the discovery of a large spider/web in the entry way to our house. I knew I had to kill this beast but I wasn’t sure how. I couldn’t swing a broom at it to knock the web down – because he would surely crawl straight up the broom handle and promptly bite my hand/arm/eyeball. I really couldn’t think of any method that would ensure the creature didn’t fall onto/around/near me…except for spray paint. So I rummage through the garage and locate my spray paint stash (you know – for getting high) (totally kidding) and grab the black can with evil gratification. But then I pause, and my mind works up an even more malicious ploy – I will spray paint this creature PINK. Because then –as he realizes that he will soon die from the fatal showering of sticky paint, he will also be humiliated knowing that he will parish in a coat of pink. BRILLIANT. So I walk cautiously to the web and carefully take the lid off of the paint – all the while keeping both eyes locked on my victim. I raise the can, aim carefully and engulf the spider with rosy-hued death liquid. It was glorious. All eight legs wriggled and writhed… he eventually fell – slowly – straight to the ground and, realizing he was stuck to himself – gave up the fight. VICTORY WAS MINE!! Much in the same fashion, I murdered a wasp that was threatening to enter my house via the garage last night. There is a large pink circle of paint on the ground – and in the middle is the sticky would-be intruder. I win again.

A little of this...a little of that

Apparently, I cannot differentiate between “hanging by a thread” and “a little loose” (when it comes to teeth, that is.) We’ve been very blessed and very lucky that, so far, Ashlyn has never had any major injury. If you’ve ever spent more than 10 minutes with her you understand how surprising that fact is. She’s been a monkey since the day she was born. She literally came out with her arms and legs flailing and her eyes wide open – and she hasn’t slowed down since. She is constantly running, jumping, swinging, sliding, diving – anything physical. I don’t think she ever sits down for 2 seconds together. She really isn’t afraid of much of anything –so the fact that we haven’t had anything broken or mangled is pretty shocking.
So last night Ashlyn fell while getting out of the bathtub and hit her mouth on the side of it. She cried for all of 5 seconds I think – but I could see a little blood around her tooth. I went to wiggle it – and wiggle it did. I swear that it was about to fall completely off. I was immediately concerned about what this broken tooth would entail. I assumed it would have to be pulled and then she’d have to have some form of cosmetic dentistry since it’ll be awhile before permanent teeth come in. I was also upset because our family pictures are this Saturday and I didn’t know what the status of the tooth would be at that point. So I take her in to the Dr. this morning, and after looking at her teeth, he informs me that the tooth is “a little loose” but is still alive and will be fine. Wow. I know that I tend to exaggerate and overreact – but really? I think my daughter’s tooth is dangling when in reality it’s perfectly in tact and just slightly loose?
Also – tonight is the Christmas Crafting meeting at the McMillan house. Yes, an actual meeting (complete with notebooks) devoted to the planning of which crafts will be, well, crafted; what materials will be needed, and what day exactly each of the crafting events will take place. I told you people I was a little nuts about Christmas, and I wasn’t joking. I know it’s nights like tonight that Allen is glad he’s gone!! Giggling, giddy women with notebooks, crafting plans, apple cider, Christmas music and an abundance of glitter…. Sounds like Heaven to me!!!!

Intervention

I'm a big girl. I need not to be anymore. If/when you see me, kindly remove any and all unhealthy foods from my death grip. Hell, rid me of nutrition of all kinds. I have enough fat stores for the winter... and the spring. Maybe let me have a cracker next summer.